I bet he comes in French.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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