Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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