Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
