Please, let me fuck your mom
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
