Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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