how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
