just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
