i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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