i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We're too hungover to prance.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
