Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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