I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
