There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
