You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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