How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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