Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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