he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
