check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
