my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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