Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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