omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i already hear my dad disowning me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
