I'm really into asian looking animals
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
