she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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