For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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