We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
