Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
