Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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