Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
