yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
