talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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