You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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