I must be too annoying 4 u.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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