My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
