the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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