he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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