Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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