Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
