smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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