i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
