I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
