playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
