I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
