going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
