is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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