her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
