Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
