I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
