Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
