we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
