I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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