I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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