Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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