Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
