It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
