even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
