He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
