Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
