if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize