You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
