So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
