How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
