too bad you live with your parents still
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
