I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
