He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
