Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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