her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
