so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
