i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
