You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
