How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
