The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
