Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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