We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
