So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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