Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
