I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
