Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
