i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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