who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
